Empathy begins the process of connecting us with others, as we share their emotions. Our own life experience enables us to understand something of the life experience of others. That emotional understanding is the distinction we call empathy: “. . . the capacity to share the feelings of others . . .” “Empathy is a complex capability enabling individuals to…
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Value for Thursday of Week 37 in the season of Fulfillment
Being Gentle
We are not each other’s masters. Being committed to honoring everyone requires a gentle approach to life.
- Mister Rogers was an ordained minister but he never talked about God on his program. He didn’t need to. [Tom Brokaw]
- Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength. [Francis de Sales]
- In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit. [Anne Frank]
- In a gentle way, you can shake the world. [attributed to Mahatma Gandhi]
Gentleness is described as “a humanity-oriented, positive trait that involves being soft, tender, and supportive to facilitate a positive experience.” It is “a form of generous attention, and a kind of skilled practice, yet it also works by drawing attention away from itself . . .” Gentleness helps people relate positively to each other. It goes hand-in-hand with mindfulness. It is especially important in times of crisis, and in difficult times, such as during a pandemic, during personal and health crises, and near the end of life.
Fred Rogers is the personification of gentle affirmation. Through his example, presented on the Public Broadcasting System for thirty-three years, he set an unmatched ethical, moral and spiritual example for generations of children and adults.
Real
True Narratives
Books by and about Fred Rogers:
- Fred Rogers, The World According to Mr. Rogers: Important Things to Remember (Hyperion, 2003).
- Fred Rogers, Life’s Journeys According to Mr. Rogers: Things to Remember Along the Way (Hyperion, 2005).
- Fred Rogers, You Are Special: Words of Wisdom for All Ages from a Beloved Neighbor (Penguin, 1995).
- Fred Rogers, Many Ways to Say I Love You: Wisdom for Parents and Children from Mr. Rogers (Hyperion, 2006).
- Fred Rogers, Making Friends: First Experiences (Turtleback, 1996).
- Tim Madigan, I'm Proud of You: Life Lessons from My Friend Fred Rogers (Gotham Press reprint, 2007).
- Amy Hollingsworth, The Simple Faith of Mr. Rogers: Spiritual Insights from the World's Most Beloved Neighbor (Ingegrity Publishing, 2005).
Here is an iconic video from his television show, and a video of Mr. Rogers accepting a lifetime achievement award.
Fred Rogers was part of a larger cultural movement, which changed children’s education and thereby, we hope, the future:
- David Kamp, Sunny Days: The Children’s Television Revolution That Changed America (Simon & Schuster, 2020): “From 1969 through the late 1970s, our notion of how to communicate with young children was upended . . ."
Technical and Analytical Readings
- Fred Rogers, Mr. Rogers Parenting Book: Helping to Understand Your Young Child (Running Press, 2002).
- Anne Dufourmantelle, Power of Gentleness: Meditations on the Risk of Living (Fordham University Press, 2018).
Photographs
Documentary and Educational Films
Imaginary
Fictional Narratives
Novels:
- Helen Simonson, Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand: A Novel (Random House, 2010): “It’s about intelligence, heart, dignity and backbone.”
- Lisa Genova, Still Alice: A Novel (Gallery Books, 2009): “We know from word one that this is a book about Alzheimer’s disease and we know who is going to have it. The meat of Still Alice isn’t in the diagnosis, it’s in the journey. And it’s a heartbreaking, fascinatingly narrated journey.”
- Anton Treuer, Where Wolves Don’t Die: A Novel (Levine Querido, 2024): “The novel positively portrays Indigenous characters through characterization that embraces and affirms the parallel paths of traditional ways and formal schooling. Byron is a caring father who wants to be involved in his son’s life during a trying time.”
Poetry
Speak gently! – It is better far
To rule by love, than fear –
Speak gently – let not harsh words mar
The good we might do here!
Speak gently! – Love doth whisper low
The vows that true hearts bind;
And gently Friendship's accents flow;
Affection's voice is kind.
Speak gently to the little child!
Its love be sure to gain;
Teach it in accents soft and mild: –
It may not long remain.
Speak gently to the young, for they
Will have enough to bear –
Pass through this life as best they may,
'T is full of anxious care!
Speak gently to the aged one,
Grieve not the care-worn heart;
The sands of life are nearly run,
Let such in peace depart!
Speak gently, kindly, to the poor;
Let no harsh tone be heard;
They have enough they must endure,
Without an unkind word!
Speak gently to the erring – know,
They may have toiled in vain;
Perchance unkindness made them so;
Oh, win them back again!
Speak gently! – He who gave his life
To bend man's stubborn will,
When elements were in fierce strife,
Said to them, 'Peace, be still.'
[from David Bates, “Speak Gently”]
Music: Composers, artists, and major works
Ludwig van Beethoven, String Quartet No. 12 in E-flat major, Op. 127 (1825) (approx. 37-41’) (list of recorded performances), is Beethoven’s ode to the gentleness that seems to have come over his spirit. “As we venture into the transcendental world of String Quartet No. 12, the personal worldly struggles of Beethoven become irrelevant. (These included lonely isolation, financial difficulties, a legal battle regarding his nephew Karl, declining health, and total deafness).” “. . . we find a spiraling inwards, a refutation of earlier models of drama and struggle. There is an omnipresent sense of dissolving into acceptance and clarity, and for Beethoven it is an uncommonly tender and introverted work.” “. . . something special happens at the end, one of so many magical moments throughout the late quartets. Beethoven writes a coda changing the key, meter, tempo and thereby the fundamental character of the music in a transcendent miracle of variation.” Great performances are by Alban Berg Quartet in concert, Budapest String Quartet in 1952, Budapest String Quartet in 1961, Alban Berg Quartet in 1982, Amadeus Quartet in 1982, Takács Quartet in 2005, Artemis Quartet in 2010, Quatuor Mosaïques in 2019, Dover Quartet in 2022, and Arianna String Quartet in 2023.
In a similar vein is Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 25 in G major, Op. 79, "Cuckoo" (1809) (approx. 9-10’) (list of recorded performances). Here are performances by Lewis, Barenboim, and Gulda.
Jean-Marie Leclair’s Violin Sonatas, are music of gentle congeniality. They consist of Op. 1 (Sonatas 1-4; 5-8; 9-12) (approx. 176’); Op. 2; (Sonatas 1-5 & 8; 6-7 and 9-12); Op. 3 (1730) (approx. 72’); and Op. 5 (Sonatas 1-4; 5-8; 9-12); and Op. 12 (1747) (approx. 84’).
Other works:
- John Ireland, Sextet for Clarinet, French Horn and String Quartet (1898) (approx. 27’) (list of recorded performances): six voices together, without a cross word among them.
- Johann Nepomuk Hummel, 3 String Quartets, Op. 30 (1808): No. 1 in C Major (approx. 24’); No. 2 in G Major (approx. 18-20’); No. 3 in E-flat Major (approx. 21’)
- Ermanno Wolf-Ferrari, Violin Sonata No. 1 in G minor, Op. 1 (1895) (approx. 26’)
- Orlando Gibbons, choral and organ music
Scott Hamilton is a mainstream jazz saxophonist who plays accessible tunes in genuine jazz style that would not offend most people’s sensibilities. On his 2023 album, “At PizzaExpress Live” (2023) (91’), “his relaxed phrasemaking and warm, honeyed tone (are) undimmed by time”. Here is a link to his playlists.
The Gentle Good is the stage name for Welsh guitarist and singer Gareth Bonello. “Inspired by nearly forgotten Welsh melodies and the brilliant music of the 60s folk revival, The Gentle Good is the work of Cardiff based folk singin’ finger-picker Gareth Bonello. Singing in both English and Welsh Gareth weaves dark folk tales around an intricate guitar style and a haunting voice to create beautiful modern folk music tinted with psychadelia.” Here is a link to his albums and singles.
Barney Kessel was a jazz and popular guitarist with a mellow and gentle style. “Born in Muskogee, Oklahoma, to two Russian Jewish immigrants (nés Kesselman), he picked up the guitar at age twelve and started playing professionally just two years later. When his band was playing in Oklahoma City, Kessel met with Charlie Christian, one of his greatest influences. The two jammed together for three days, which had a profound effect on the young Kessel and led to the development of his own distinctive style.” Here is a link to his releases.
Gentle sounds from African guitarists:
- D’Gary, “Music from Madagascar” (1990) (61’);
- Tcheka, with his playlists.
Music: songs and other short pieces
Fred Rogers, the patron saint of gentleness:
- “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” (lyrics)
- “It’s You I Like” (lyrics)
- “Sometimes People Are Good” (lyrics)
- “You Are Special” (lyrics)
Visual Arts
- Wassily Kandinsky, Softened Construction (1927)
