How many times have we heard someone say that a signfiicant other, such as a spouse, does not behave thoughtfully enough toward her? Perhaps nowhere do we need the cerebral cortex to transform a raw emotion into something good and useful than here.
Regard for the object(s) of our passion will help us begin the process of transforming passion into Love. By carefully considering the welfare of those we say we love, we begin to transform the inner feeling of passion into a relationship that transcends the ego’s boundaries.
So at least two processes are at work. By using the intellect to temper our emotions, we become more whole. By being thoughtful toward others, we become more focused on the welfare of others, not just ourselves. This easily overlooked step is an essential element in peace, harmony and spiritual development.
Real
True Narratives
Book narratives:
- Homera Qaderi, Dancing in the Mosque: An Afghan Mother’s Letters to Her Son (HarperCollins, 2020): “Homera Qaderi Wants Her Son to Know Her. So She Wrote a Book”, including letters she was forced to leave behind.
Technical and Analytical Readings
- Janet Hibbs and Karen J. Getzen, Try to See It My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage (Avery, 2009).
Photographs
Documentary and Educational Films
Imaginary
Fictional Narratives
Novels:
- Chris Bohjalian, The Red Lotus: A Novel (Doubleday, 2020): “. . . about friendship, about the connections between people and, most of all, about the love of parents for children and of children for parents.”
Poetry
Music: Composers, artists, and major works
The pervasive feeling in Johannes Brahms’ Trio for Piano, Violin and Cello No. 1 in B major, Op. 8 (1854, rev. 1889) (approx. 33-38’), is one of loving regard. The work’s brooding quality is in keeping with the concerns that come from regard for another or others. Perhaps Brahms had been thinking about the work in the thirty-five years that passed from when he first composed it to when he re-wrote it, along with two other piano trios newly composed by an older man. “Imagine the psychological complexities inherent in the exercise of a mature master setting out to reduce the excesses and smooth out the rough edges of his youth.” “The B-major Piano Trio, Op. 8, is a large-scale piece which, in its original version of 1853, was about a third longer than the revision that we know now. Remarkably, Brahms waited some 36 years before placing the trio on his writing table to make alterations that would render it 'not as dreary as before.'” If the work reveals “the whole twenty-year-old composer with all his inner stress, his fullness of heart, his ardent longing; all the apprehension, pride, restraint and expectation of a soul in flower,” as one music critic whose life overlapped Brahms’ put it, then this masterwork makes sense in the context of Brahms’ life. Here are links to complete performances by Oistrakh/Knushevitsky/Oborin, Pires/Dumay/Wang, and Bogotaj/Bogotaj/Khodos. Most of the top recorded performances are of recent vintage, perhaps suggesting that sensibilities have stepped forward a bit after all, at least in some circles: Istomin, Menuhin & Casals in 1955; Istomin, Stern & Rose in 1974; Beaux Arts Trio in 1986; Vienna Piano Trio in 1993; Angelich, Capuçon & Capuçon in 2004; Trio Testore in 2013; Gutman Trio in 2013; Tetzlaff, Tetzlaff & Vogt in 2015; Florestan Trio in 2016; Ax, Kavakos & Ma in 2017; Jerusalem Trio in 2017; The Z.E.N. Trio in 2017; Volta Piano Trio in 2019; Irnberger, Geringas & Silberstein in 2022; Feininger Trio in 2023; and Trio Sõra in 2024.
Brahms’ two other piano trios evidence the same feeling, due perhaps to Brahms’ romanticism applied to the naturally intimate piano-trio form.
- Brahms, Trio for Piano, Violin and Cello No. 2 in C major, Op. 87 (1882) (approx. 29-31’): excellent performances by Katchen/Suk/Starker, Tetzlaff/Tetzlaff/Vogt, Pires/Dumay/Wang, Irnberger/Geringas/Zilberstein; and Trio Sõra in 2024.
- Brahms, Trio for Piano, Violin and Cello No. 3 in C minor, Op. 101 (1886) (approx. 20-21’): excellent performances are by Katchen/Suk/Starker, Istomin/Stern/Rose, Beaux Arts Trio, Irnberger/Geringas/Zilberstein; and Trio Sōra in 2024.
Other works:
- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Serenade No. 13 in G major, K. 525, “Eine kleine Nachtmusik” (“A little night music”) (1787) (approx. 17-22’): “Although it originally denoted an evening song for courtship, the term serenade by the late 18th century was used broadly to describe a chamber work intended for light entertainment on a social occasion.”
- Albéric Magnard, Symphony No. 2 in E major, Op. 6 (1893, rev. 1896) (approx. 40’): “Although the music has a serious personality, it is not morose. Some critics have commented that this symphony seems to evoke the Medieval era and chivalric deeds.”
- Friedrich Gernsheim, Violin Sonata No. 4 in G major, Op. 85 (1912) (approx. 18-23’)
- Ernst Krenek, Trio-Fantasia for Piano Trio, Op. 63 (1929) (approx. 11-12’): “Over the pulsating carpet of sound in the piano, the violin and violoncello rather hesitatingly speak in alternation, and yet intertwined, as if they desired to return to a time long past. During the course of the work, the tone becomes quite vehement and explores, in a way, the borders of romantic sensuality. The nostalgic gesture however never disappears.”
- Guillaime Lekeu, Violin Sonata in G Major (1893) (approx. 34-36’)
Albums:
- John Coltrane & Johnny Hartman, “John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman” (1962) (31’): “Throughout the album, the baritone Hartman, tenor saxophonist Coltrane (also known as Trane) and his peerless rhythm trio - pianist McCoy Tyner, bassist Jimmy Garrison and drummer Elvin Jones - make music that seems to be so in-the-moment, so up-close-and-personal, that it conjures, upon first hearing, a sense of shared intimacy.”
- Billie Holiday, “Lady in Satin” (1957) (66’) “finds her in weakened health, ravaged by heroin use and alcohol, with her voice likewise diminished. But the distinctive charm of Holiday’s singing remains clearly present in her performance, and her interpretations of these jazz standards is made all the more poignant by the vulnerability present in her voice . . .”
- Norah Jones, “Come Away with Me” (2002) (45’) “doesn't swing, it sways. But Norah has such a feel for the music that she can make her voice soar and carry you with her, then deposit you gently back in your living room.”
- James Taylor, “Sweet Baby James” (1970) (32’): “Drawing largely from his own experiences, a young life filled with personal tragedies and up until then, only a handful of small triumphs, Taylor’s themes contrasted with the prevailing hippie mindset of eternal sunshine.”
- James Taylor, "Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon" (1971) (37’): “. . . Taylor sings of sadness . . . optimism . . . traveling . . . and the comfort of reunion . . .”
- Joni Mitchell, "Blue" (1971) (36’): “Sad, spare, and beautiful, Blue is the quintessential confessional singer/songwriter album. Forthright and poetic, Joni Mitchell's songs are raw nerves, tales of love and loss . . .”
- Joni Mitchell, “For the Roses” (1972) (41’)
- Nick Drake, “Bryter Layter” (1970) (39’): “. . . Even on the cover . . . he’s shrouded in shadow – a promise of the quiet, dark place we enter through his songs.”
- Nick Drake, “Pink Moon” (1972) (28’): “. . . the songs are mystical and offer a sort of daydream effect, allowing the listener to escape to faraway beaches or the deep wilderness and fall into a meditative state.”
- Eva Cassidy, "Songbird 20" (1998) (56’)
- Cat Stevens, "Tea for the Tillerman" (1970) (37’) “was the story of a young man's search for spiritual meaning in a soulless class society he found abhorrent. He hadn't yet reached his destination, but he was confident he was going in the right direction, traveling at his own, unhurried pace. The album's rejection of contemporary life and its yearning for something more struck a chord with listeners in an era in which traditional verities had been shaken.”
- Keith Jarrett, "The Melody at Night, With You" (1999) (55’): “. . . the playing on this solo-piano recording is subdued, but does not lack for earnestness, passion or focus. The music is exquisite . . .”
- Cassandra Wilson, "New Moon Daughter" (1994) (62’): “Throughout the album, it is the nuances and subtleties of both Wilson’s voice and the arrangements that contribute to such a powerful artistic statement—one second her warm honeyed tones wrap you in a cocoon of bliss . . .”
- Joan Armatrading, "Love and Affection: Joan Amatrading Classics" (1975-1983) (158’): “Kudos to The Observer for correcting its headline. They have proposed a virtual debate. Mayor Santana wants it to be in person. That is how the headline now reads.”
Music: songs and other short pieces
- In the popular song “I Will Always Love You” (lyrics), Whitney Houston sings tenderly and poignantly about a lost romantic love. Many people enraptured with romantic passion try to fit the square peg into the round hole, imagining that they can turn the frog into the prince or that the object of their passion necessarily shares their goals. In this song, the singer knows that she is not the right person for her beloved, and abandons the romantic relationship out of regard for his welfare. The song's story incorporates letting be, letting go, pained acceptance and respect for the loved one's humanity.
- Kelly Clarkson, “Already Gone” (lyrics)
Visual Arts
- Nicolas Poussin, Bacchic Scene (ca. 1627)
Film and Stage
- Edward Scissorhands: the example of simple, loving regard provides a lesson of seemingly magical quality for a lifetime