Imaginary

Fictional Narratives

Novels:

• Russell Banks, Rule of the Bone: A Novel (Harper Perennial, 1996): “Chappie, the young narrator of Russell Banks's latest novel, introduces himself with these blunt words: 'You'll probably think I'm making a lot of this up just to make me sound better than I really am or smarter or even luckier but I'm not. Besides, a lot of the things that've happened to me in my life so far which I'll get to pretty soon'll make me sound evil or just plain dumb or the tragic victim of circumstances. Which I know doesn't exactly prove I'm telling the truth but if I wanted to make myself look better than I am or smarter or the master of my own fate so to speak I could. The fact is the truth is more interesting than anything I could make up and that's why I'm telling it in the first place.”
• Uzodinma Iweala, Speak No Evil: A Novel (HarperCollins Publishers, 2018): “Niru’s homosexuality is very much the book’s subject, and the text is interested in dualities — Americans and Africans, white and black, gay and straight, devout and skeptic, the black immigrant and the black American (a role filled by Damien, a college student with whom our hero has a sweet, chaste fling) — while always returning to the question of what his gayness says about who Niru is.”
• Elizabeth Acevedo, The Poet X: A Novel (Quill Tree Books, 2018): “The book’s enduring popularity is a powerful reminder that teenagers groove on poetry, especially when it’s geared to the realities of their lives.”
• Peace Adzo Medie, His Only Wife: A Novel (Algonquin, 2020), about a woman entering an arranged marriage: “Afi finds her way from the crowded courtyard of her uncle’s house to a luxurious city apartment where she finally meets her husband and tries to make the best of an impossible situation.”
• Asha Bromfield, Hurricane Summer: A Novel (Wednesday Books, 2021), “a powerful coming of age story that deals with colorism, classism, young love, the father-daughter dynamic―and what it means to discover your own voice in the center of complete destruction.”
• Vendela Vida, We Run the Tides: A Novel (Ecco, 2021): “Vendela Vida captures the unstable sensation of early adolescent reality, that period teetering between childhood and young adulthood in which outlandish lies can seem weirdly plausible and basic facts totally alien.”
• Nicola DeRobertis-Theye, The Vietri Project: A Novel (Harper/HarperCollins, 2021): “This complex, substantive debut offers a singular and transfixing take on the nature of identity — both national and personal — and the dangers of secrecy, both national and personal. And, of course, what it means to come of age in a broken world, a world that has been broken for generations.”
• Malindo Lo, Last Night at the Telegraph Club (Dutton Books for Young Readers, 2021): “Lo’s lovely, realistic, and queer-positive tale is a slow burn, following Lily’s own gradual realization of her sexuality while she learns how to code-switch between being ostensibly heterosexual Chinatown Lily and lesbian Telegraph Bar Lily.”
• Lily King, Five Tuesdays in Winter: Stories (Other Press, 2021): “She knows that what we call coming-of-age doesn’t happen in a single electric moment at age 14, but that part of being human is to keep discovering, in our seasons of euphoria and sorrow, new corners of being.”
• Yuko Tsushima, Woman Running in the Mountains: A Novel (1980): “. . . the book captures the intimate transformations, physical and existential, of a solitary young mother.”
• Margot Livesey, The Boy in the Field: A Novel (Harper Collins, 2020): “. . . a Grisly Discovery Leads to Self-Discovery”.
• Jonathan Escoffery, If I Survive You: A Novel (MCD, 2022): “The reader is invited to share in Trelawney’s search for an authentic self, if such a thing exists, by enduring the frustrations and microaggressions he faces.”
• Elisa Shua Dusapin, The Pachinko Parlor: A Novel (Open Letter, 2022): “. . . the novel is a slow, meditative portrait of one woman finding herself, as well as a moving reflection on language’s capacity to divide us from others — and ourselves.”
• Marie Ndiaye, Vengeance Is Mine: A Novel (Knopf, 2023): “. . . a woman is haunted by a decades-old trauma she feels, but cannot quite remember.”

Poetry

Music: Composers, artists, and major works

Johannes Brahms was twenty years old when he composed his Piano Sonata No. 1 in C Major, Op. 1 (1853) (approx. 25-32’). Hearing it, Robert and Clara Schumann instantly recognized the young man’s burgeoning genius. The music fairly screams of a young composer discovering his own talents. Excellent recorded performances are by Katchen in 1964, Zimerman in 1979, Knardahl in 1986, Richter in 1987, Oppitz in 1990, Vogt in 2002, Beatson in 2014, Plowright in 2017, Kodama in 2022, and Kantorow in 2024. 

Self-discovery can occur late in development – at any time. In his Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Minor, Op. 37 (1802) (approx. 36-43’), Ludwig van Beethoven was trying to advance himself beyond his first two piano concerti. “If your picture of Beethoven is . . . of a dramatic, dark personality whose tragic life events shaped him and his music, then the Piano Concerto No.3 is the man personified!” Success did not come easily. The premiere performance was chaotic, and Beethoven’s page-turner could not make out a score. Pianist Byron Janis says: “It’s really the first concerto where Beethoven shakes his fist at the world . . . It’s when he leaves Mozart behind, and becomes Beethoven.” Top recorded performances are by Schnabel in 1933, Kempff in 1953, Fleisher in 1961, Kovacevich in 1972, Perahia in 1986, Brendel in 1999, Goode in 2008, Brautigam in 2011, Pires in 2014, Zimerman in 2021, and Korstick in 2022. 

Though he showed signs of becoming a musical prodigy as a pianist, the introspective César Franck lacked a temperament for public performance. He went on to become one of history’s greatest composers for organ, a grand instrument not often associated with shyness. In his compositions, we can hear what seems to have been a lifelong process of self-discovery. His most famous compositional series is the Six Pièces pour Grande Orgue, Opp. 16-21:

• Fantaisie, Op. 16, M. 28 (1862) (approx. 12-14’)
• Grande Pièce Symphonique, Op. 17, M. 29 (1862) (approx. 24-28’)
• Prélude, Fugue et. Variation, Op. 18, M. 30 (1862) (approx. 10-11’)
• Pastorale, Op. 19, M. 31 (1862) (approx. 9-11’)
• Prière, Op. 20, M. 32 (1862) (approx. 11-14’)
• Final, Op. 21, M. 33 (1862) (approx. 10-14’) 

Other works:

• Mieczysław Weinberg, Sonata for Cello and Piano No. 1 in C Major, Op. 21 (1945) (approx. 17-19’): “The work’s sense of melancholy is evident in long-breathed musical lines like Shostakovich, but without the irony and sarcasm of the older composer.”
• Ernest Bloch, Symphony in C-sharp Minor (1902) (approx. 55’), is “a work of youthful bombast, in four movements which originally had subtitles reflecting the autobiographical self discoveries of Berlioz or Mahler which evolve through struggle self doubt to faith happiness.”
• Pietro Mascagni, L'Amico Fritz (Friend Fritz) (1891) (approx. 92-99’) (libretto) is an opera about a man and woman who discover that they love each other. Performances are conducted by Pido, Gavazzini and Bargagna.
• Karol Szymanowski, Violin Concerto No. 1, Op. 35 (1916) (approx. 24-26’), evokes a personal journey. It is at turns assertive, then introspective. Szymanowski composed it for violinist Paul Kochanski, inspired by a poem about an important event in a young man’s life. “The work is recognized as the first 'modern' violin concerto, in which the composer rejects the 19th-century tradition and the major-minor system, and introduces a new music language full of ecstatic raptures and tension. The lack of a dramatic kind of expression, which is replaced with emotional intensity, means that the piece is closer to the aesthetics of expressionism than to the Romantic convention.”
• Eugène Ysaÿe, Sonata for Solo Cello, Op. 28 (1924) (approx. 12-15’), is brooding, and evocative of someone wrestling with himself. 

Albums:

• Nitin Sawhney, “Beyond Skin” (1999) (59’), is about “identity and the search for self in a conflicted world”.
• Duncan Lyall, “Infinite Reflections” (2013) (54’): This Scottish bassist draws on influences from his musical background to expand on and express his own voice: “While writing this music I drew inspiration from memories, and cultural references that have resonated with me. I have tried to explore my experiences of friendship, adventure, surrealism, love, loss, determination, grit and happiness.”
• Alyssa Morris, Ruminations (2022) (79’), including Morris’ works: Four Personalities for Oboe and Piano (2007) (approx. 12’), based on the Hartman personality test; Forecast for Oboe and Four Percussionists (2009) (approx. 18’), “a . . . work for an instrument pairing not often utilized, oboe and percussion”; Ruminations for Solo Oboe (2021) (approx. 10’) [“Each movement is a personally expressive etude, meant to depict the feeling of obsessive thinking about an idea, especially when it interferes with normal mental functioning.”]; Parable of a Stormy Sea for Two Oboes and English Horn (2016) (approx. 13’); and 27-72, a Sonata for Oboe and Piano (2019) (approx. 20’)
• Espen Berg, “The Trondheim Concert” (2022) (86’), consists of solo jazz piano pieces, increasing in energy and complexity throughout the album. “The music, created in the moment, reflects his emotions in a profound way, and every time he plays, it’s different.”
• Arcade Fire, “The Suburbs” (2010) (64’): “The initial fantasy of Funeral was escaping the neighborhood, dancing beneath the police lights, and living on misbehavior. The Suburbs can be seen as the update decades later, with those same kids having kids of their own, and moving back to and struggling in the same neighborhoods.”
• Canberk Ulaş, “Echoes of Becoming” (2024) (39’) is “a deeply reflective meditation on transformation and authenticity, which describes Ulas’ personal journey from despair to self-discovery.”
• Black Diamond, “Furniture of the Mind Rearranging” (2024) (77’) “is an assemblage of new compositions and improvisations that develop the band's established sound and exemplify the way in which this band folds into the Chicago creative music community.”
• Huw Montague Rendall, “Contemplation” (2024) (76’): consisting of art songs and operatic arias,  the “programme deals with themes of self-reflection and self-discovery, or indeed their absence . . .”

Music: songs and other short pieces

• Peter Gabriel, “Solsbury Hill” (lyrics)
• Billy Joel, “Vienna” (lyrics)

Visual Arts

• René Magritte, Discovery (1927)

Film and Stage

• Wild Strawberries (Smultronstället): in this “classic study in isolationism”, an aging medical professor reflects on his life, wistfully and with regret
• Wild Reeds (Les Roseaux Sauvages), a coming-of-age story about a youth wrestling with sexuality amid a political storm
• Only Yesterday: In this animated film, a young woman returns to her “fifth-grade self,” then comes to terms with herself.